I received an email from an African man last week, a gentlemen from the country of Nambia who had a few questions about moving abroad. I write a lot articles and blogs on travel and living in other countries, so he read one and reached out to me. 

I wanted to share our exchange with you. Why?

In the United States, 'immigrant' is a bad word. At least some times it is, for some people. But particularly right now in the United States, the only frame of reference most of us have with the idea of immigration is people from Mexico and Central America illegally sneaking into our borders. Or we might have a feint notion of Irish, Italian, Polish, etc. immigrants coming through Ellis Island in faded photographs.  

But the world is filled with migrants - to and from every single country, throughout every inch of the world, the ebb and flow of our existence within geography is as old as human kind, itself. In fact, borders are unnatural. We are all on the same globe, yet we draw an invisible line and call the space within "ours," almost arbitrarily - in proportion to our power, opened or shut per our convenience. The permitters of nations are like rubber bands, constricting and expanding through history as wars, refugees, famines, disputes, industry, colonization, language changes, social and cultural norms, and  even weather patterns change.  

I don't play at politics, so I'm not trying to tell you that the borders of the United States should be open to everyone, all the time. Of course that would be a disaster, and every country requires policies who can enter and who can not. I don't have the answer what that policy should be, exactly. The only thing I know is that there is a far bigger picture of immigration than the average person understands in the U.S., so I'm trying to paint the corners. Hopefully through this blog, you will be introduced to another kind of immigrant, a real person with a life journey outside you previous realm of understanding, to humanize the issue beyond headlines and political rhetoric.  

As I've travled all over the world, I've noticed a few things:

1. Every country experiences the same circumstances: people from more economically-disadvantaged countries trying to enter for jobs, safety, or a better life. And the population of every country is trying to enter another country for economic advantage. Everyone's nature is to try to move up. The United States is one of the few countries where that does not occur - our citizens don't have anywhere to go but down.

2. The vast majority of immigrants are good people who just want to work hard, take care of their families, and live happy lives. I estimate that percentage to be exactly the same as the rest of the non-immigrant population who are good people who work hard, take care of their families, and live happy lives.  

3. How can we criticize an immigrant when his country was colonized by the same people who are now denying him entry to theirs?  

4. I have been an illegal immigrant - living and conducting business in countries for periods longer than my tourist visa allows, so I have no right to judge anyone. It's not easy. There 

5. In fact, I know that if I was born into poor circumstances and had trouble putting food on the table or keeping my family safe, I'd take advantage of every opportunity to move somewhere else for a better life.

Would you?

Here is the email I received from this gentlemen from Africa, and my reply:

Hi Norm,

Im T.J. (name changed) a 30-year old black man from Namibia, Africa who is
interested in working overseas either in Canada, Germany, United Kingdom, or United Arab Emirates.

I'd like to know from you as you possess priceless information in travel as to which countries are worth the effort. I'm  looking for a country offering the following;

1) minimal racial discrimination- I was born and raised in the Apartheid era. (Namibia was colonised by the very same racist South African government after Germany lost the 2nd world war)

2) Well-paying unskilled or semi-skilled jobs. I want to earn and save as much foreign currency as possible to help shoulder some family responsibilities (check out the Namibian dollar exchange rate in comparison to £/€/$,im sure it can help paint a picture)

3) Opportunities to help forge business endeavours with foreigners while living aboard, as there are many opportunities here in Namibia which foreigners can benifit from including my own people (trying to utilize any opportunity available should i go overseas).

4) Which towns/cities one should consider living in within these countries.

I hope im making enough sense concerning the posed questions,if not please do let me know as not all info on the net is reliable regarding these countries and i need raw info and you are the main man
concerning this:)

To conclude i highly appreciate any response given regarding this matter and any extra info will be treasured thank you for your time in reading my letter Norm.

Regards,
T.J.

***

Hello T.J.;

So nice of you to reach out and say hello.  Thanks for asking that great question, and I hope I can help.  I have a little experience with those places or what I've heard, and out of those, I think Canada might be my first choice.  Of course it is cold, but from what I see there are plenty of work opportunities, they have a liberal immigration and work policy, and the economy is terrific.  Also, I understand Canada is a country with large immigrant and foreigner/non-white pockets of population, and there is far less racism that in my home country, the U.S.  Vancouver is the best city there but crazy expensive.  Toronto has the most international flavor and that may be a good place to start.  I know a lot of people who work in mining or drilling way up north and make great money - they'll work a month on and two weeks off or some schedule like that.  So it's not glamorous at all, but they make great money without advanced qualifications and it gives them some time freedom.

Germany's economy is tough right now and there is a big  anti-immigrant sentiment.  England is great and possibly my second choice, though it's very expensive and more competitive in London.  I really don't know that much about UAE.

I certainly hope that helps ! I applaud your efforts to build a better life for you and your family, and wish you the best of luck. Please keep me posted and keep in touch!

Your brother and friend,

Norm Schriever

How many times a year does the average American have sex?  Take a wild guess.  Yesterday, I saw the cover of a fitness magazine that stated Americans, on average, have sex 118 times per year. 

Wow, that’s a lot of boom-boom.  That number seems ridiculously high to me, and certainly my lack-of-output plummets the national average, so last night I conducted a very scientific poll (on Facebook) asking the same question.  The majority of people said they were under the norm.  Errr…let me rephrase that, since my name is Norm, and “under the norm” may take on a different connotation considering our subject matter.  The majority reported they had sex less than 118 times a year, with only a few outliers saying that number sounded low, and even one girl who claimed she has sex 3 times a day, EVERY day, and who immediately received a slew of new friend requests.  

First off, to treat this subject with empirical impartiality, let’s define what a “time” is.  Certainly a “time,” or “sexual episode,” is viewed differently between men and women.  Studies show that for men, sex has occurred the exact micro-second they orgasm.  But for women, it’s when they receive a compliment about looking thin.  And how do we define “sex,” itself?  There are almost as many definitions of sex as there are people, but for this study, they considered sex to be any sexual encounter, with at least two people (sorry you masters of bating), including intercourse, manual, or oral copulation.  

I think a better definition would be: “any activity that involves removing your clothing, including your socks, that leads you to miss more than two commercials on TV.”

According to these definitions, Americans are having sex approximately once every 3 days.  That still seems like a lot.  Don’t forget, we have to factor in people who are not married, or not actively dating, or are “taking time to work on themselves,” or own more than 3 cats, or wear toupees, have a headache, are sick with the flu, have to wake up early the next morning, still live with their mom, or just have zero game, and you can see that we’re looking at far lower numbers.  Then there is the ultra-religious crowd, who believe that sex should be reserved for procreation, and the abstinence people.  WaitingTilMarraige.com reports that 3% of the US population, almost 10 million people, wait until marriage to have sex, so that skews our screw numbers.  By the way, if you want more information on that organization you can look them up on Facebook, where they have 7 followers.  

I understand if you have sex a whole butt-load of times if you are in a fun relationship or newly married, play NBA basketball or are named Taylor Swift, but this study shows that the rest of us have sex once every 3 days our whole adult lives!

The logistics are astounding.  118 times per year – that’s a LOT of beer and tequila shots, breath mints and over-priced flowers!  And where is all of this sex taking place, anyway?  It's reported there are 132 million housing units in the US, so is that where all of this bump and grind is going down?  Apparently people aren’t just getting amorous in their housing units, but in motel units, and back-seat-of-car units, and on-their-desk-at-work units.  Classy.  

Dubious of this number, I undertook my own research with the help of Google.  Side note – there are some interesting items that come up whenever you use “sex” in any keyword search, and my computer will have to be thoroughly purged this morning.  Surprisingly, there was little clinical research, reinforcing the premise that as a nation we’re fairly closed-minded about sex, at least talking about it when the bedroom doors are open.  But I combed through the handful of existing academic studies, which cited brilliant conclusions like:

“Having sex is linked to positive outcomes.”

Yah think?!  I’d say so!  So I formulated my own list:

 Top 5 Positive Outcomes of Having Sex:

1. You got to have sex

2. You got to have sex

3. You got to have sex 

4. You got to have sex

5. Post-coital snack

Thankfully, I found more legitimate studies about our other national pastime by the Kinsey Institute, an Indiana University research center who has been the “trusted source for investigating and informing the world about critical issues in sex, gender and reproduction,” for over 60 years.

I can only imagine visiting the Kinsey Institute, where they have hot women scientists in white lab coats with nerdy glasses who take me into a testing room and attach microdes to my head, and then she pulls off her glasses and shakes out her hair and pushes me back onto a lab table and rips off her lab coat and…oh, you’re still here?  Sorry, I got carried away.

Here are some statistics about Americans and sex:   

• The average couple spends 20 minutes on foreplay.
• The average sex session lasts for 3-18 minutes.
• 75% of men orgasm every time they have sex.
• 29% of women orgasm every time they have sex. 
• The average age of first sexual encounters is 16.9 for males and 17.4 for women.
• People have sex most infrequently on Tuesdays (because the Voice is on).
• Thursdays are the most popular days to have sex (because The Big Bang Theory is on).
• Only 48% of people are fully satisfied with their sex life.
• 60% of the population engage in oral sex frequently.
• The movie "The Notebook" is reported as the most romantically stimulating film for women, who prefer men to make "their move" during the rain scene.  Men cite "any damn thing" as being most effective to get them in the mood. 
  
• 90% of men and 86% of women have had sex in the past year.
• 27% of men and 19% of women have had oral sex in the past year.
• 10% of men and 9% of women have had anal sex in the past year.
• 20% of Americans have had sex with a coworker.

Here's the in-and-out of the Kinsey Institute's report on frequency of bumping uglies:  18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year, bringing the national average to around 85 times per year.  

How does that measure up against the rest of the world?  In contrast, the Greeks have sex an average of 164 times a year, and the Brazilians, 145 times per year.  Sadly, like math and science test scores, America has fallen behind, again.    
  

I’m all for America being competitive with the rest of the world, so what do you say we roll up our sleeves, take off our pants, and show them what good-old-fashioned U.S. ingenuity and hard work is all about.  If you love America, please do your part to have sex more frequently so we can bring that number up.  Copulate for patriotism, like bald eagles, baseball, and fireworks on the 4th of July depended on it, or else the terrorists win - who, by the way, have sex 119 times per year. 

***

Please don’t buy my book.  I’m serious.  In fact, please don’t purchase either of the books I’ve written, or tell your friends to purchase them.  But I’m not telling you NOT to spend your money, just don’t spend it on me.  Instead, I have a humble recommendation for what you can do with that same $20, the amount you spend on Starbucks every week, which can completely change someone’s life for the better.

Rather than buy my book, I’m encouraging you to do something different with that $20 – fund a microloan to an impoverished person.  I know, I know, you gave at the office, you donate to charity at your church, or you’re overwhelmed with infomercials soliciting donations for people in far away places but this is NOT a donation.  

Listen closely, because what I’m about to share is considered one of the most effective ways to bring people out of desperate poverty all over the world, giving them and their children a fighting chance for a decent life.  

A microloan is exactly that, a small loan, not a donation, that you grant to an individual.  The money is used to fund commercial ventures with the potential of propelling the recipient out of the cycle of poverty they're mired in.  Sometimes they buy a goat, which produces milk that they can sell, or chickens for eggs, or buy seeds and fertilizer to plant a harvest to prosper in the future.  Others use the loan to purchase wholesale goods that can be resold for profit, fund craftsmanship like hand-sewn baskets, or a sewing machine so they can take on work.  The ventures are self-conceived and self-monitored, but the recipient has to pay the money back in increments over a certain term, like 120 days. 

If they don’t pay it back they don’t get another loan, as simple as that.  However, most microloan programs, like Grameen Bank, report that repayment rates are between 95-98%.  Once the lender (you) is repaid, you can chose to work with the same recipient again, fund another person’s loan, or just pocket your original investment.

The problem with poverty in most countries is that there's no tangible lifeline to pull themselves out of it, like education, entrepreneurship, and old-fashioned hard work here in the U.S.  Instead, their desperate crawl upward is further slickened by racial, tribal, and especially gender taboos.  Basically, when women are born into poverty, they will always be poor, and their families will be poor, as will their children, and their children’s children.  The horrific gender-imbalance of poverty is well detailed in the book Half The Sky, which I highly recommend – if you can stomach it. 

But microloans, or microcredit, as it’s sometimes called, can give them a fighting chance to grasp otherwise-impossible financial momentum.  Originally traced to several organizations to help the poor in Bangladesh in the 1980’s, Muhammed Yunus is considered the father of the movement, as documented in his book Banker to the Poor, and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 for his work.  As of 2009, an estimated 74 million men and women held microloans that totaled US$38 billion, all over the world.  

The majority of applicants are female, and it’s been proven that allotting money to women, who are better with savings, investing for the future, paying their debts, and more conscious of the needs of their family, is vastly more effective than giving money to their husbands, who tend to use it on short-term consumer goods or just drink it away.    

The potential loan applicants apply through organizations like Kiva or ProMujer, where you can see their picture, read about their lives, and find out their business plan once they receive the money.  They post a certain target goal for their loan, say $500, and micro-lenders pledge money toward that goal until the amount is reached, when the money is delivered.  The repayments are carefully tracked and posted on the applicant’s profile on the website, so their credibility with repayment is of utmost concern so they won't jeopardize future loans.  

Microloans endeavor to augment what international organizations like the United Nations and billions of dollars in foreign aid attempt – to empower people to work their way out of poverty with permanent changes that end the cycle of poverty.  By making a microloan you are, essentially, not giving them a fish, but teaching them how to fish and supplying them with a rod.  Of course, microloans are by no means a panacea to the world’s poverty, and critics cite high transaction costs and interest rates, problems with disseminating these programs out of urban centers to remote rural areas, and the educational foundation needed to grasp these concepts and apply, as holes in the fabric of microloans.  It’s been found that microloan programs work best alongside educational initiatives, women’s discussion groups, and support networks that hold each other accountable to timely repayments.  This community enforcement model goes a long way to patching those holes.  

Whenever pledging money or donating to charity, it’s best to thoroughly research the organizations, and the rating system at CharityNavigator is a great place to start.  Different microlending organizations focus on different issues or areas of the world, like Vittana, which funds education, not commerce.  Feel free to email me for more information or recommendations.

So please don’t buy my book, or skip your daily Starbucks this this week, and instead pledge that money to funding a microloan.  That $20 can kick start a venture for one of your brothers or sisters in the world, allowing them to feed their families, keep a roof over their heads, access medical care, educate their daughters, and bring their children’s children out of poverty. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  

Norm :-)

PS If you'd like to read a few more of my thoughts about the nature of philanthropy and giving, check out this past article.  

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I was born in the United States, but as far as I can tell I did nothing to deserve that.  Like many of you, I grew up with more than some and less than others, but for me, that privilege wasn’t earned.  So what predetermined my existence into the wealthiest country in the world, where almost everyone has access to better themselves and live a comfortable life?  The answer is: luck, dumb luck, a twisted cosmic roll of the dice.

We’d like to tell ourselves that we have so much because we’re better, we’re right, we’re more civilized, morally superior, that we’ve achieved this destiny with our hard work and “go get ‘em” American gumption.  Bullshit.  That’s ridiculous.  

For those of you who have travelled outside of U.S. borders – and I mean really travelled, not been to the gross Disney-esque façade of a Cabo or all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean, you know what I mean.  Daily life is a struggle for most people in the world, the rule – not the exception.  Things that aren’t even on our radar enough to take for granted, like clean water and a roof over our heads and enough food to eat, are a daily scramble.  I’ve seen whole villages picking through the dumps to survive, families lined up waiting out back of a restaurant for the trash to come out so they can dive in the dumpster and fight for their scraps of dinner.  The images of children working the streets are burned into my conscience, barefoot 3 year olds dodging traffic to beg a few coins, huffing glue or gasoline to keep the hunger away.  Or for the girls, worse.  

I don’t believe in fate – there’s no rational explanation why “God” put them there and me here.  But because of our lofty station I do believe that we’ve been given the gift of social responsibility.  I call it a gift and not a duty because it’s preferable to the alternative.  

Everyone rallies for their own self interests – everyone, it’s just human nature.  Business owners and the wealthy want lower taxes, those who are on the lower end want a sturdier ladder to climb out of classism and a better social safety net.  Dare I say that those in lily-white affluent suburbs aren’t too concerned with the 500 gun deaths in the streets of Chicago every year until a tragedy befalls them?  I’m not laying blame, let me be clear about that, it’s just how it works – everyone rallies for their own self-interests, including me.  It's no grand coincidence that teachers lobby for education, baseball players care about the strength of their union above the sanctity of the game, and DMV employees...well, bad example - forget about them.  When you zoom out far enough what you're left with is a bunch of competing self interests, all yelling over each other to be heard. 

But for those of us in the U.S.A., that dice-roll of chance blessed us with the opportunity to be better than that, not because of what we have our hand out to take but because of what we can give.  We can care for others who may fall outside our sphere of personal self-interests without threatening our survival.  THAT is American Exceptionalism.  And yet we fail, more often than not, because we’re so concerned with keeping score, blinded by comfort and consumerism and a hyper-angry mentality of fear that’s come to infect our culture.  Trust me when I tell you that if you really want to look at the world and all of the possibilities for your existence, it will be quite an eye opener.  I’m not talking about being a liberal or a conservative - throw your politics in the trash as far as I’m concerned, for either one in excess imbalances that notion of greater good.  Loyalty to a political party often is nothing more than allegiance to whichever side represents the biggest bundle of your own self interests.  No, I’m just talking about being a good human being.

Please do me a favor - the next time you’re about to vote, to speak, or to act on an issue, or even before you judge your fellow man without walking a mile in his shoes, ask yourself the brutally honest question: “Am I only thinking about what’s best for me?”  Or what’s best for us?”  And if the answer is the former, then how can I rise above it?  Now if everyone did that, what kind of world would we live in?   

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