Happy birthday to Nelson Mandela, revolutionary of consciousness, prisoner, president, and practitioner of Ubuntu, the spirit of human kindness, who is 95 years young today.  The father of modern South Africa led a tireless David against Goliath anti-apartheid crusade that toppled a government and changed the world but Mandela will be most remembered for his compassion and courage to stand up for what’s right, using his power to promote peace – not political gain.

Here are a few interesting facts about Mr. Mandela:

He was born Rolihlahla Mandela, which is a isiXhosa name that means “pulling the branch of the tree” or a nickname for “troublemaker.”

He is affectionately known as “Madiba” in his country, a tribal nickname.

He was born in 1918 in the small South African village of Mvezo, Transkei.

Starting at age 7 he was educated in a British school, where a missionary teacher gave him the name Nelson. 

Mandela earned a law degree from the University of South Africa and started one of the first all-black law firms in the country.

He was president of the African National Council’s Youth Branch, and led their Campaign for the Defiance of Unjust Laws, a movement of nonviolent mass resistance.

Mandela’s ANC was labeled a terrorist organization by the apartheid government and its allies, including the US and Britain.  Not until 2008 did the US finally remove Nelson Mandela from its terror list! 

He was arrested multiple times by the government, but finally on June 12, 1964 he was he was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for sabotage.  It’s believed that an American CIA agent tipped off the police where they could find and arrest Mandela. 

He spent 18 years doing hard labor on Robben Island prison and then in 1982 was transferred to Pollsmoor Maximum Security Prison.

He was prisoner # 46664.

Finally he was granted amnesty and released in February 11, 1990, after serving almost 10,000 days, or 27 years, in prison.

Upon his release he was urged to attack his political and apartheid opponents, but instead preached forgiveness, healing, and their inclusion into the new South African government.

He was elected president 1994, 300 years since a black man was allowed vote in South Africa

His son died of AIDS in 1995, which led Mandela to promote awareness, medical treatment, and remove the veil of secrecy from the epidemic in his country

He’s been married three times, to Evelyn Mandela from 1944-158, ending in divorce, to Winnie Mandela from 1958-1996, ending in divorce, and to Graca from 1998 to present.

Nelson Madela won the Nobel Peace Prize in July of 1993.

The United Nations has declared July 18, his birthday, Nelson Mandela International Day, which is the first time the UN ever dedicated a day to a person.  

He remains hospitalized, and we pray for him.  

First off, let me correct that title.  It should read: Confessions of an Amazon.com Best-Selling d-bag book marketer.  That’s because, as of 8:14 am EST on April 26, 2013 AD, the year of our Lord, I joined the ranks of Amazon’s best selling authors.  

I know what you’re thinking: “Who gives a flying shiznitt?”  And I totally agree, but please grant me two seconds anyway, so I might be able to provide you insight into the highly suspect nature of best seller lists.

You see, I love writing, and I love sharing that writing with you.  And on the rare occasion that you, the reader, remark that you actually enjoyed my words (whether out of generosity or intoxication, I couldn’t care less) it just sends me to the moon.  But I hate trying to sell books.  In a perfect world I could just live in a hut on a tropical beach halfway across the world and write my heart out and the books would sell themselves.  But, alas, I find myself required to participate in polite society from time to time, like everyone else.  Sighhhhh. 

Certainly, I’m not alone: there are over 300,00 books published every year, all clamoring to be sold!  That’s a lot of hungry authors yelling at the top of their lungs (on the internet) for you to buy their book.  Me, me me!  After a while it gets so loud and cluttered that it sort of cancels itself out, giving the general public a big, dull headache. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe my book is damn entertaining and worth a read, but I resist becoming a part of that club.  At least once a week I vow never ever ever to become yet another d-bag book marketer…but that lasts about thirteen minutes and then do it anyway, subjecting myself to the industry’s recommended solicitations: wasting time on Facebook and calling it a social media campaign, begging semi-famous people for a shout-out, pandering to appear on B-List radio shows with plastic plants in their studios, and kissing the ass of some social misfit just because they have a magical thing called a “blog.”  

As an Indie author (which really means ‘self-published’ but we say ‘Indie’ because it sounds WAY cooler, like we’re SO artsy we have no use for abstracts like success and money,) I’m required to work the big room, über-conscious of marketing, promoting, publicizing, advertising, and, ultimately, selling my humble work.  It’s not out of greed – in fact it takes a LOT of book sales just to break even on my costs or to make a little money.  Most authors make more money off of speaking engagements, coaching, ghost writing, or selling you their marketing program than they do off of book sales, and unless you’re one of the iconic few in the ivory tower of publishing (James Patterson, Stephen King, etc.) you probably haven’t quit your day job.

Now, I didn’t say I’m bad at it – I do okay, considering my marketing budget closely resembles a round, bread-like toasted breakfast item that’s covered in crème cheese.  But I truly despise it.  

Yet somehow, inexplicably, lightning struck a month after I released South of Normal (shameless plug) and it achieved Amazon.com’s best seller status.  But before you take out the pom poms and get all excited, (or call “bullshit,” as I probably would), let me explain how the whole thing works, and then maybe you’ll agree that best seller lists, super novas in the book marketing universe, are sort of…d-baggish.  

What is a best seller?

When people hear “best-seller” they assume we’re talking about the New York Time’s Best Sellers List, (NYT is officially the “best sellerS” list, while some spell it ‘best seller’) which is like making the Hall of Fame of writing.  But the New York Time’s list isn’t the only game in town – there are also best selling lists published by the American Booksellers Association, IndieBound, Barnes & Noble, Publishers Weekly, the Boston Globe, USA Today, Denver Post, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, and Walmart.  

Yes, I’m serious, Walmart.  Imagine someone bragging: “I’m a Walmart best-selling author!”  That’s like saying you have the best teeth in West Virginia.  

No matter which list we’re talking, there are warts to this honor.  No one knows the exact algorithm they use to rank books but industry insiders understand which marketing activities are most beneficial to land their clients on the list.  For instance, the NYT list traditionally didn’t tally book sales but book orders, and to only a handful of brick-and-mortar bookstores.  So smart publicists focused their dollars on ensuring advanced orders to those specific stores, and voilà – their client was on the list.

Hell, it wasn’t even until last year that they started ranking eBooks.  Amanda Hocking sold over a million books but her book NEVER appeared on the NYT list!  However, Snooki’s fiction book, A Shore Thing, hit the list at #24 and, if you’re like me, you’d pay $14.95 NOT to hear what Snooki has to say.  Certainly we can agree that being list-worthy is no glaring indication of quality. 

Buying your way onto a list.

If that’s not watered-down enough, there are even ways to buy your way onto best selling lists.  Legitimate publicity firms will ensure your placement based on what you pay.  The formula is simple – pre-order enough of your own books from the right book stores (albeit at a discount) and you will rank high enough to show up on the list.  Then you can re-sell the books to recoup some of your costs.  To avoid transparency, the firms break up the orders into purchases from smaller corporate entities with different names.  It might cost you $50,000-$80,000 to get on the Wall Street Journal’s list, and triple that to be in the big-daddy NYT list. 

What about eBooks?

And then there are online eBook sales, through Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, and Smashwords.com, etc.  Both eBooks and Indie publishing have completely changed the landscape of publishing over the last five years, ensuring the democratization of literature like nothing since the Gutenberg press.  23% of all book sales in 2012 were eBooks, so Amazon and Kindle, who are tag-teaming a takeover of the whole English-speaking world (and doing a bloody fine job of it,) have their own best-seller lists. 

How do you become an Amazon best seller?

What does it take for an author to become an Amazon.com best seller?  There is no hard and fast rule, but I’ve heard authors generally call themselves a best seller if their book hits top ten in any category.  That was confirmed when I Googled “How many book sales do you need to call yourself a bestselling author at parties to get free drinks from rich people and attract attention from women who otherwise are way out of your league?”  Top ten, it is.  

Can you beat the system?

Does everyone play nice on Amazon?  Of course not.  A concentrated burst of sales and reviews is the fastest way to move up Amazon’s list, at which point they promote you themselves, so some authors pay for reviews.  John Locke, who set the record for the most eBook sales with Donovan’s Creed, admitted to paying for reviews!  He hired a firm to buy 15,000 of his own eBooks to “juice” sales and write favorable reviews, sky rocketing his exposure.  A lot of people in the industry aren’t too happy with that, but I give him credit for outplaying publishing’s innately crooked game.  Screw ‘em. 

Some authors price their eBooks at rock bottom, 99 cents, to promote volume, or even give away masses of books for free because, ultimately, a review is worth more to your exposure and future profit than the .35 cents you might pocket today.  Kindle is accommodating enough to set up your free giveaway and then independent internet sites will help you promote it on the web, charging you for the privilege.  So you end up paying to give your book away for free!  If that’s not counterintuitive to the spirit of commerce then I don’t know what is.  

The trick to ranking high on Amazon.com.

Amazon places books in general categories, like Romance, Biography, Science Fiction, etc., but with 7 million books in print they need distinctive subcategories, like “Civil War memoir,” and “Anything that has to do with zombies.”  They even have sub-sub categories, and it goes on and on.  When an author registers their book it behooves them to place it in the most specific category possible so they’ll face the least competition, and therefore have the best chance of rising in the ranks.  Make sense?  

When registering South of Normal on Amazon (alright, Norm, stop with the name dropping - we get it already) I first tried placing it in a sub-category where only nine books existed, so I’d automatically rank in the top ten.  But changed my mind because I don’t think a book about living in Costa Rica would do well in the only nine-book category I could find: 

Fantasy> Fables and Myths> Biography> Politics> Honest Republicans.  

Instead, I landed in:

Kindle Store> Kindle eBooks> Nonfiction> Travel> Specialty Travel> Adventure.  

Really?  Specialty travel?  What does that even mean, I’m “special” and I happened to travel, so I get my own category?  Books register in a few categories, so I also was a big hitter in:

Books> Humor & Entertainment> Love, Sex, & Marriage.

Wait, so you’re telling me that my book is considered a literary marital aid?  A discourse on intercourse?  Actually, that makes perfect sense, since I wrote about important topics like "Jungle Bush," tourists surprised by transvestite prostitutes, and how sand is definitely not a lubricant.  But we can all agree that I’ve never been accused of being humorous.      

Anyway, the book was released and I begged everyone I’ve known since 2nd grade to buy it and write a review on Amazon, including talking my own mother into writing one under a pseudonym (Pia.)  But I vowed not to get caught up in the whole ranking thing because I’m better than that…so I only checked the rankings first thing in the morning…and after meals…and every time I saw an article on Kim and Kanye, but I swear, that’s it.  

Remarkably, with a modest burst of Kindle sales and a few great reviews (some of them from REAL people other than my family members) South of Normal showed up on the Amazon rankings at #20 in its category, and then #17, and then, the next day, #13.  

I was moving up!  God bless America!  The system is obviously working if it rewards pen-wielding prodigies like yours truly!    

But then something horrible happened – I dropped back down to #15.  F ‘em!  Sons of beaches!  I won’t lower myself to this kind of degradation!  

You see folks, I’m not into superficial self promotion like best seller lists, and…wait, hold on…what’s that?  Holy duck dicks!  I checked again and it said my book was #5!  Five!  (That’s Roman Numeral V, for you keeping score at home.)  What does that mean?!  Something?  Nothing?  Probably something!  

The Tribe had spoken - I was an Amazon best-selling author.  Who the hell was I to question it?  I took a quick screenshot to record the milestone for posterity (and for those who called “bullshit”,) then took it from a better angle, then squeezed my head next to the screen to take a selfie.  I immediately updated Facebook and added the Amazon best seller graphic to my email signature, taking up roughly ¾ of the computer screen so it would be physiologically impossible for anyone but Stevie Wonder to miss it.

I kept checking the rankings to calculate when I’d overtake John Krakauer’s Into Thin Air, the legendary Everest tale that sat atop my category on Amazon, but I still lagged slightly - I only needed about 947,962 more sales to knock off Big John.  Instead, my book lingered in the top twenty for a few weeks, then eventually sunk into ranking obscurity.  But it was too late to take it back; I was officially a best seller, a brand I could narcissistically use for all time (and especially at parties.)  

But don’t worry…this super-duper impressive designation won’t go to my head one iota.  I’m not going to turn into yet another d-bag book marketer, wearing sunglasses indoors and saying “Let’s do lunch, babe.”  I’m still the same good ‘ol broke schlub you know and don't love, a humble blue collar man of the people.  So don’t feel like you need to refer to me as an Amazon best-selling author or anything…MISTER Amazon best selling author will do just fine!  Ha!  (Insert evil laugh here.)  

Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I’m headed to Walmart to sneak some more of my books onto the shelves.  Number one with a bullet, baby!

-Norm :-)

Envy McKee, media personality, celebrity of consciousness, and spiritual diva, has burst on the literary scene like a supernova with her new book, Among Us.  The good news is that this is just the first book in the Stellar Trilogy.  The bad news is we have to wait for the next two, because if the vibrant and fascinating world that McKee penned is any indication, we're in for a rocket ride through her universe, and the psyche of her main characters.  In an age when sci-fi books can tend to be stale or somewhat formulaic, I was ecstatic to dig into her prose and find a new world, a new story, and possibly even a new GENRE that she created with the warmth of your grandmother's front porch in July, not the cold and sometimes impersonal books we're used to.  So how did she come up with this world?  What was her inspiration?  What was her creative process like?  I had so many questions after putting Among Us down that I had to interview Ms. McKee and ask these ten questions:

1. Do you consider your story Scifi?  Have you always liked that genre?

I think The Stellar Trilogy is "other". For the sake of publishing, I had to call it something, so I called it Contemporary Fantasy Fiction. Believe, it was a process of deliberating just to put it in that narrow box, but it fits the best-- until "other" is actually an option.  While I've always been a huge fan of Sci-Fi and fantasy, I can't really call The Stellar Trilogy Sci-Fi because traditionally there's supposed to be science involved. There's some Quantum Physics and Science of Mind intermingled in the story, so sure, I could get away with calling it Sci-Fi and yet... The Stellar Trilogy is so much more than any box I could try to stuff it in. There is no box!!! 

2. How much of yourself and your own life do you see in the main character, or other characters and experiences?

Because Kai's story is about self-discovery and being "other"--there's that word again-- I see a lot of myself through Kai's lens and her experiences. I know what it's like to be deemed "grey matter". Not quite one thing or another, just kind of a fringe existence. What's been so cool is how so many people who've read the book see themselves in Kai too and relate to her experiences. I'm talking women AND men. I suppose it was instinct when I started off the "Dear Reader" commentary with "Kai is you." I think the essence of Kai is in us all. Kai means love by the way. To answer your question, there's a lot of me in Kai, but there's a lot of other people in her too. The other characters, to be honest, they aren't based on any people I know. They created themselves as supporting presence for Kai's journey. 

3. What is your creative process?  How do you come up with ideas?  When/where do you write?

Honestly, my creative process is really just S.M.A.D. (Sit My Ass Down). My brain is like a sieve. Once I sit down in front of my computer, the pictures in my head start and my job is simply to explain what I'm seeing. Then the characters start talking and I treat the experience like improv acting. In improv, every person in a scene has to commit to "yes". So that means if somebody does or says some crazy ish, everybody in that scene has to stay in character and go with it until the end of the scene. That is the literal process that happens in my head. I don't have an end game. I don't write notes or have outlines. My job as the vessel of the work is to take the ride, wherever it's going. It's never a dull moment because I never know where it's going. I knew how the story ended when it was over. Just like the reader.

I suppose my ideas come from that process, but it's been about self discovery for me as well. This is my first book. I can't say I have a formula yet. I keep a journal. I can say the idea for The Stellar Trilogy came about from a few pages of ideas I wrote in one of my journals.

I mentioned my brain is a sieve right? I write all the time. I'm always writing something, but not always what I sat down to write. I can say I work best either at a million o'clock at night on the deck with my laptop when my daughter is asleep or at my "creation studio"-- either way it's all about having no one around to judge me whilst I'm talking to all the people populating my head. LOL.

4. How is writing a book different (or the same) from the other media work you do?

Writing The Stellar Trilogy is not that much different than what I do in other forms of media in that it's a viable and tangible creative outlet for me. Everything I have done and do currently in media is about reframing the conversations we have with ourselves. The Stellar Trilogy fits this core value of mine perfectly. It's different in that it's undiluted. Media always has to be boiled down to fit an allotted time frame which has to amount to clips, snippets, trailers and blurbs. A book is its own thing and is timeless if it must be. People can take their time and savor it. They can put it down and come back to it later. However long "later" happens to be. It took me 3 years to read The Celestine Prophesy. I would buy it and give it away, then buy it and give it away. Once I saw the movie, I was hooked. I had to read every book in the series and did so in one weekend. The Celestine Prophesy changed everything for me particularly about how creative ideas and stories can unwittingly become lessons for humanity that also changes lives. A story can be fun and funny and also esoteric and complicated. It can be exciting and riveting and also compel important questions and conversations. So with that said, I think adding fiction to my current media repertoire is the perfect compliment to my career as a whole. A) Because it's in me to do. and B) Because people embrace ideas in all different ways right? Books live in their own time continuum. 

5. How long did it take to write this book?

I wrote the first draft in a month or two. It took 7 years to rewrite, revise, revision, reshape and uplevel the story to what it is now. What I mean by 7 years is 2 or 3 years tucked away and then I'd pull it out and add or delete something. Then pull it out again 2 or 3 years later and add or delete something. The Stellar Trilogy has had too many drafts to count. I didn't have the missing pieces to the story's puzzle until around May (of 2013). That's why it took 7 years to publish.

6. Tell me about the language, customs, and culture of these characters.

Kai is a Sialovehal (A Seed) from TuStai. Her people are called The Stai (Star People) and speak Tuahstai (Tongue of Stars). Kai thinks she's human, of course, having been raised by her surrogate humans on Earth--which is an interesting dynamic. The Stai people are highly evolved beings who live in higher realms. Their role in the story ( from what we know) is to initiate a working and self sustaining evolutionary process for humans called The Entwine of Mirth (The Joining of Joy)--to help expedite humans to their fullest potential so they don't destroy themselves and Earth. The Stai sent missionaries to help initiate The Entwine. It's a painfully long process and isn't something The Stai take lightly. Something went horribly wrong however. Kai's father was one of the missionaries originally sent to Earth, but he went bat sh*t crazy and it's Kai's job to return him home or The Entwine will never be balanced, Kai's mom can't return home AND the Earth will be destroyed. We don't learn a lot about The Stai in Book 1, but we do get the impression they are mighty important in the scheme of things in the big, big, mighty big universe. 

I think the development of Tuahstai for Book 1 grounds the story in the "otherness" that lurks in every scene.  It's a phonetic language like Polynesian languages. Every syllable is pronounced.   Tuahstai is spoken in pockets throughout the book in an effort to help Kai remember her mission--which is to return her father home. It's way more complicated than that, of course, based on who her dad turns out to be. I have a feeling Kai learns a lot more about The Stai and her home planet/higher realms in Book 2, but I can't be sure yet. I won't know until I finish writing it!

7. How did you come up with the star image?  What does it represent?

Like most things in this book, I didn't come up with it, it found me. From what I understand, The 5 point star is a piece of a larger whole of the symbol that represents The Stai. There's also a circle in that mix and another symbol, yet undisclosed. The star is the most prevalent in Book 1, so we'll stick with that. My theory--and this is just a theory at this point-- is that it has something to do with Sacred Geometry. A 5 point star gives off the same vibe as Leonard Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man. Perfect proportions? Balance? The head is always aligned with higher realms than the body? I don't have that answer yet. I'll let you know when I find out! I do know that all of the original Star People wear their stars in the middle of their forehead as their birthright. It does serve a purpose, but you have to read the book to find out what that is. 

8. How much of the story/themes/experiences are grounded in our real world, and written as conscious metaphors?  What lessons can our world learn from that world?  

Book 1 of The Stellar Trilogy is truly a set up for what's unfolding in Book 2. Book 1 is called Among Us, so for Kai it's about self discovery and walking through the veil of her perceived reality. Which is something we're all called to do at some point in our lives. Book 2 is called Awake. So.

The story is contemporary in that it takes slices of "real life" and folds it into the mix of a more metaphysical idea of the themes and things we've all read about or heard of at some point in our lives. But nothing is what it seems. Nothing is as we think it's supposed to be. I do think there are conscious metaphors steeped into the storyline too. But esoteric concepts are a personal discovery piece. It's going to resonate differently for everybody. Which I think is the coolest part of how the story unfolds. 

The world that happens to be Kai's life is not so different from the world we live in now. It feels like a quirky dream for some and a blatant nightmare for others. I think The Stellar Trilogy tests the boundaries of what we believe reality to be and how we may or may not shape the lives we live. How much power do we really have in shaping our world? Is my life experience nature or nurture? What if what I think the world is--is utterly false? Then what? In order to stay the same, you have to deny reality.  But then you have to ask, well... what is reality? That's Kai conundrum throughout the book. I guess the funny part is, as deep as it sounds, it's really not that deep. It's as simple as asking: Am I the master of my reality or is my reality the master of me? Whatever way you answer, you'll be right. That's no metaphor, that's an everyday conundrum we all face. It's Kindof cool to see Kai's process as she faces all the crazy crap she experiences throughout the story.

9.  Where can readers get the book and how can they best help you spread the word?  

Right now The Stellar Trilogy is available on Amazon via paperback and Kindle. Kindle of course, has a free app for all smart phones and tablets. In a few weeks The Stellar Trilogy will be available at every major online retailer and for every e-book reader.

How can you spread the word?! Social Media!!! My Instagram is @EnvyousLife. When you get the book, share your pic with me on Instagram! Share where you are as you're reading it. At the beach? Bus? Train? In bed with your pet mouse? In the backseat of the longest road trip ever? Use the hash tag #TheStellarTrilogy. I always repost, retweet and fave. I'm also selecting random peeps who post their #TheStellarTrilogy pics this summer to receive really cool gifts bags via some really, really, really cool brands. I haven't announced yet, but those details are coming soon. Share for the love, but also know, sharing is a win/win.

Also, if you've read the book and love it, share a review on amazon.com. I've had about a zillion FB, twitter, text and phone conversation reviews so far about how much folk love The Stellar Trilogy! The feedback has been humbling and amazing! For example, this woman inboxed me on FB to say she believes The Stellar Trilogy is the Celestine Prophecy for our generation. How awesome of an amazon review would that have been right? So if you love it, tell other readers why so they can jump in, read it and love it too! Social media and word of mouth is running this party, and for that I am humbled beyond words. Thank you abundantly!

10.  What’s next????  

I'm presently working on The Stellar Trilogy: Book 2, Awake. Everyone who has read Book 1 has said out loud that it's designed to be a movie, so... I'm actively circulating Book 1 around to film production houses to manifest The Stellar Trilogy Movie 1 (of 3) into production sooner, rather than later. Why not, right? Also, my home base is envymckee.com, so all the news you can use is allllll there!

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I highly recommend Among Us to book lovers who want to delve into a dynamic, entertaining, and intellectually-challenging read.  Feel free to stay in touch with Envy on Twitter @QueenEnvy.