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I Was Born in The United States, Yet I Did Nothing to Deserve That.

2/5/2013

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I was born in the United States, but as far as I can tell I did nothing to deserve that.  Like many of you, I grew up with more than some and less than others, but for me, that privilege wasn’t earned.  So what predetermined my existence into the wealthiest country in the world, where almost everyone has access to better themselves and live a comfortable life?  The answer is: luck, dumb luck, a twisted cosmic roll of the dice.

We’d like to tell ourselves that we have so much because we’re better, we’re right, we’re more civilized, morally superior, that we’ve achieved this destiny with our hard work and “go get ‘em” American gumption.  Bullshit.  That’s ridiculous.  

For those of you who have travelled outside of U.S. borders – and I mean really travelled, not been to the gross Disney-esque façade of a Cabo or all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean, you know what I mean.  Daily life is a struggle for most people in the world, the rule – not the exception.  Things that aren’t even on our radar enough to take for granted, like clean water and a roof over our heads and enough food to eat, are a daily scramble.  I’ve seen whole villages picking through the dumps to survive, families lined up waiting out back of a restaurant for the trash to come out so they can dive in the dumpster and fight for their scraps of dinner.  The images of children working the streets are burned into my conscience, barefoot 3 year olds dodging traffic to beg a few coins, huffing glue or gasoline to keep the hunger away.  Or for the girls, worse.  

I don’t believe in fate – there’s no rational explanation why “God” put them there and me here.  But because of our lofty station I do believe that we’ve been given the gift of social responsibility.  I call it a gift and not a duty because it’s preferable to the alternative.  

Everyone rallies for their own self interests – everyone, it’s just human nature.  Business owners and the wealthy want lower taxes, those who are on the lower end want a sturdier ladder to climb out of classism and a better social safety net.  Dare I say that those in lily-white affluent suburbs aren’t too concerned with the 500 gun deaths in the streets of Chicago every year until a tragedy befalls them?  I’m not laying blame, let me be clear about that, it’s just how it works – everyone rallies for their own self-interests, including me.  It's no grand coincidence that teachers lobby for education, baseball players care about the strength of their union above the sanctity of the game, and DMV employees...well, bad example - forget about them.  When you zoom out far enough what you're left with is a bunch of competing self interests, all yelling over each other to be heard. 

But for those of us in the U.S.A., that dice-roll of chance blessed us with the opportunity to be better than that, not because of what we have our hand out to take but because of what we can give.  We can care for others who may fall outside our sphere of personal self-interests without threatening our survival.  THAT is American Exceptionalism.  And yet we fail, more often than not, because we’re so concerned with keeping score, blinded by comfort and consumerism and a hyper-angry mentality of fear that’s come to infect our culture.  Trust me when I tell you that if you really want to look at the world and all of the possibilities for your existence, it will be quite an eye opener.  I’m not talking about being a liberal or a conservative - throw your politics in the trash as far as I’m concerned, for either one in excess imbalances that notion of greater good.  Loyalty to a political party often is nothing more than allegiance to whichever side represents the biggest bundle of your own self interests.  No, I’m just talking about being a good human being.

Please do me a favor - the next time you’re about to vote, to speak, or to act on an issue, or even before you judge your fellow man without walking a mile in his shoes, ask yourself the brutally honest question: “Am I only thinking about what’s best for me?”  Or what’s best for us?”  And if the answer is the former, then how can I rise above it?  Now if everyone did that, what kind of world would we live in?   

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What Legacy Do You Want To Leave The World?  

2/4/2013

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This past Saturday, February 2nd I had the opportunity to deliver the keynote speech at the Sigma Chi fraternity regional conference at the University of New Haven.  A lifetime ago I, too, was a Sigma Chi at the University of Connecticut.  So in a sense this was my homecoming, and they encouraged me to talk about my story as an author.  But I was eager to try and deliver a message of inspiration to these 250 impressionable and eager undergrads, something far more important than just books.  As I tried to write my speech I often stalled, stuck in reflection.  So I brought it back to the simplest common denominator; if I were sitting in the audience with them twenty years earlier, listening to my own speech, what advice would I give myself?  And conversely, if those kids are going to be up on stage twenty years from now, what wisdom will they want to offer themselves? 

That made me focus on the word legacy – that which we'll leave the world long after we’re gone.  “What will be your legacy?” I asked the students, “That you had a lot of material things?  A lot of money?  You were a “fun” guy?  Or that you helped those around you, made everyone in your life feel loved and cherished, and offered some service to humanity?"  

Everyone has a special gift that they are here to give the world, I explained.  Your job is to find out what your special gift is and then give it to the world.  That is your true path, your purpose for being on earth.  No matter how you find it, how many detours you take and how many times you stumble and fall along the way, make sure you keep searching for that special gift that only you possess.  Giving it to the world will be the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world.

I hope I reached them, gave them even one koan of wisdom that will help them navigate their own truth north a little easier.  There were some great guys in there – eager soldiers of compassion and character, ready to serve humanity as our future leaders.  I can honestly say they are far more conscious and mature than I was at their age.  The future appears a little bit brighter after yesterday’s event, for even though I was the speaker, it was their collective spirit which spoke volumes to me. 

So what advice did I give them as I flipped through my power point presentation and stood under the big lights with a microphone?  There were slides covering topics as eclectic as “The career opportunities that await them in emerging global markets,” or “Everything we do is either rooted in love or fear,” and “Don’t ever pull out a coupon on a date.”  However, as I told them, there are only two things I would absolutely need to tell my younger self if I were sitting in the audience.  "You’ll make a lot of mistakes, go through a lot of struggle and also have many wonderful, happy times," I told them, "But always remember these two things on your journey through life:"

Always believe in yourself,

and…

Laugh more.  

That’s it - everything else will work itself out.  Oh, and good luck with your speech twenty years from now.  If you’re smart you’ll start taking notes now.       

This is a short excerpt from the full 45-minute speech, which will be available on YouTube shortly.


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    Norm Schriever

    Norm Schriever is a best-selling author, expat, cultural mad scientist, and enemy of the comfort zone. He travels the globe, telling the stories of the people he finds, and hopes to make the world a little bit better place with his words.   

    Norm is a professional blogger, digital marketer for smart brands around the world,  and writes for the Huffington Post, Hotels.com, and others.

    Check out South of Normal his Amazon.com best-selling book about life as an expat in Tamarindo, Costa Rica.

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    The Book Marketing Bible provides 99 essential strategies for authors and marketers.

    Pushups in the Prayer Room, is a wild, irreverent memoir about a year backpacking around the world.  

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