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Requiem for a radio show.

9/13/2017

1 Comment

 
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This week, I had the opportunity to be a guest disc jockey on Dumaguete’s own 93.7 Energy FM radio station, filling the how usually reserved for Jeff the Solar Guy’s show.
 
Jeff pre-qualified me tediously for the job by checking to see if: 1) I knew what a radio was; 2) Could speak in complete sentences; and 3) Had a pulse. Assured that two out of three wasn’t bad, I was offered the position.
 
The experience was a blast, and thanks to a few entertaining guests and a solid producer, at least my show didn’t embarrass the station.  But I must admit that I had butterflies of anticipation leading up to my 4 PM On-Air time since it’s been a long time since I got behind the mic.
 
My timing was a half click too fast and my transitions were rusty, but I still remembered the three golden rules of radio: 1) Always read the copy advertising, 2) Repeat the station’s call letters and guest names every ten minutes, 2) and don’t swear like a drunken sailor. 

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​But it wasn’t my first foray into being a radio DJ…
 
A million years ago (OK, 1992-3) I was a Disc Jockey for my college radio station at the University of Connecticut. 91.7 FM went by the call letters WHUS, with the slogan “Radio for the people.” The only problem was that there weren’t any people listening – at least to my show.
 
As a newbie, I was awarded he worst possible time for a radio show: 2 AM to 5:30 AM on Thursday mornings. My first class, Weightlifting 101, was at 8 AM so it was a challenge just to show up, yet alone bench press with that lack of sleep (and lack of muscle).
 
Manning a professional radio station by myself was also a big responsibility. I had to read public service announcements (PSAs) every 15 minutes, report the weather once an hour, and announce the call letters frequently so the people would know which station they weren’t listening to.
 
There were about 1,000 buttons, dials, and levers in the sizable radio booth, at least nine of which I mastered after six months of practice. Also, I was informed very seriously that if I cursed while I was live on air, the FCC could fine the station $10,000 and could put them out of business. 

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​But I had plenty of leeway to make mistakes since the station was empty at that hour. That was fine by me, since I didn’t particularly care for the kind of person who would be a college radio DJ (present company excluded).
 
The other members of WHUS chain smoked, reserved sour lemon looks of scorn for anyone not deemed as “alternative” as them, and obviously spent hours perfecting their disheveled outfits until they’d give off an “I don’t care about my outfit” vibe.
 
But I made the best of it, and I was rarely alone. My roommate, Garnett, always came along with me to listen to the newest hip hop records, and, circa 2:30 AM, Jake the Pizza Delivery Guy would always roll in, red-eyed and carrying a few free pizzas he’d managed to commandeer.
 
Together, to pass the three hours of silent blackness, we turned the radio show it into a big party. 

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​“Stormin Norman in the Morning” was born, but this was no cult of personality, as the show was all about the music. At that time, there was no YouTube or iTunes, and people couldn't even listen to music online (Napster came in 1999). So to hear a new song, you had to tune in on the radio, watch MTV, or go to a record store and buy it.
 
But every record label sent early releases to the station to promote their hot new artists and albums, so we got Nirvana, Dr. Dre and Snoop, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Counting Crows, Radiohead, the Wu-Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest, and others all six months before the general public. It was heaven for this music lover.
 
We turned the volume way up. We danced. We tried to rap. We laughed. I ranted and raved on-air. We used the station’s phone to make long distance calls. We stole duplicate CDs. We took turns falling asleep on the couch. And we recorded endless mixes as if this music jackpot might suddenly disappear.
 
I gave shout-outs to friends all the time just so they would listen, spread maliciously irresponsible rumors about our teachers, and invited anyone and everyone in as a guest so we could discuss their sexual exploits.
 
By the time the middle aged and well mustached soft jazz DJ showed up at 5 AM to prepare for his morning show, the studio was littered with empty beer bottles, dank clouds of smoke, stacks of vinyl and CD cases, the remains of Hawaiian pizzas, and a snoring Garnett.

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​The rest of the college campus was still sleeping, too. My radio show was so desolate that when a blizzard struck one winter night, I didn’t bother showing up. No one seemed to notice that the station was broadcasting dead air until a confused morning jazz guy brought it back to life.
 
It snowed a lot of Thursday mornings that winter, and thus my inglorious DJing career at WHUS soon came to an end.
 
I ended up failing Weightlifting 101, a new low-point in my already low academic career. But Garnett and I were sought out for our new mixes and soon recruited to DJ parties. Jake the Pizza Guy would even stop by.
 
Twenty-five years later (wow!), getting into the booth at ENERGY FM rekindled those memories. Pulling the mic close and shouting out those call letter maybe even created an itch that needs scratching.
 
Perhaps I'll volunteer to guest DJ in Dumaguete again? Or, even better, I can record my own little podcast about traveling, culture, and general musings about this thing we call life.
 
But this time, I think I'll call it “Stormin Norman in the mid-afternoon," and strong coffee will replace all of those cold beers. I can even make a call to see if Garnett and Jake the Pizza Guy are available.

-Norm  :-)

P.S. A version of this story first appeared in the Dumaguete MetroPost newspaper.

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1 Comment
188 JILI link
3/18/2024 08:57:47 pm

First and foremost, your positivity is infectious! In a world where negativity often dominates, stumbling upon a blog like yours is like discovering a hidden gem. Your ability to find the silver lining in every situation is truly admirable and serves as a beacon of hope for your readers.

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    Norm Schriever

    Norm Schriever is a best-selling author, expat, cultural mad scientist, and enemy of the comfort zone. He travels the globe, telling the stories of the people he finds, and hopes to make the world a little bit better place with his words.   

    Norm is a professional blogger, digital marketer for smart brands around the world,  and writes for the Huffington Post, Hotels.com, and others.

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