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The CRAZIEST sh*t you'll see in Southeast Asia!

3/1/2016

1 Comment

 
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog with the FUNNIEST sh*t you'll see in Southeast Asia and shared it with you. The response was so great that I decided to follow up with a new two-part blog with the CRAZIEST sh*t you'll see in Southeast Asia!

From Cambodia to Laos, Vietnam to Myanmar, and Thailand to the Philippines, there's definitely NO place on earth that will make you sure in amazement and scratch your head like in Southeast Asia, where the wild, hilarious, and downright bizarre are a daily occurrence. 

So enjoy, and look for part 2 of this blog coming soon! 

If you want to read more about life in Southeast Asia, read my new book, The Queens of Dragon Town.

-Norm   :-)
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In Southeast Asia they put cobras and scorpions in liquor bottles and let them ferment in there, with claims that drinking it will give you the animals' power.
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Who needs a barber chair when you have freaky mind-over-matter skills.
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In the west, they have Missing posters for cats, dogs, and maybe stolen bicycles, but in Asia, they're trying to track down that lost flip flop.
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No stretch limo? Just weld a couple of mini vans and station wagons together.
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I call "Not It" being the guy playing with power lines with a stick up his ass!
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If expensive sex change surgery is out of the question, there are easier and faster (but probably a little more painful) ways to get it done.
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Hell NO I'm not stepping foot inside the "Zippa Ripper" bar.
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Well you can't argue with the name of that bar.
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One of the NASTIEST things you'll see/eat in Southeast Asia (and that's saying something) is Balut - or semi-fertilized duck embryos. They walk around selling them to beer drinkers and it's like a delicacy .
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Just a random Korean tourist de-pantsing while standing on a bar in the middle of a crowd. No big deal.
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If your psychiatrist is named Dr. Meth...chances for a full recovery are not good.
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Wait, you said it's the black wire?
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Interesting name for a drug store, no?
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Is that a grenade?
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Well that's one way to attract customers.
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No. You. Didn't.
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Does anyone else find it super creepy that the spokesmodel for a sweet condensed creamer is a super-Arian blonde haired white kid...in Asia? Huh?
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My question isn't so much about this establishment that sells pre-rolled joints, marijuana-topped pizza, or Indian food...but why they have a photo of me tacked on above it. Seriously.
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It floods so much during the rainy season, that even this classroom in Thailand was underwater. No joke.
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We have our "Type AMEN and share to bring good luck" memes, and they have their weird cobra religious stuff going on memes.
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Now THAT'S my kind of gym!
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Most kids I grew up with went to soccer or science camp during the summer, but urology camp? Sounds like a blast.
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Either you're going to be preparing a lot of rental agreements, or they're promoting promiscuity.
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This is actually brilliant, as riding a moto or even a car through water in the rainy season will stall it and could permanently mess up the engine...unless you have a "snorkel."
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A "phone booth" in the Philippines.
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"Honey, do you want fried dwarf sperm with oyster sauce for dinner tonight?" "No, I had that last night. How about pizza?"
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I know it's someone's name, but it's funny that this accounting firm is named "Socheaty."
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This isn't a real image of course, but what's shocking is that people from Southeast Asia aren't quite sure at first...
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...because they really do pack every spare inch of every vehicle with as many people, boxes, and even animals as possible!
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Like this motorbike thats carrying a wide load (I like how the driver is on his cell phone instead of concentrating!)
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...or this van.
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When was the last time your mattress was delivered by a puny moto?
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Even animals are "transported" in close quarters. (Sorry, vegans.)
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Any place that's reasonably flat and in the shade is a good place to sleep.
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You see people wearing surgical masks everywhere in Asia because of pollution and fear of germs spreading/getting sick. But I've never seen a person wrap themselves completely in plastic on an airplane.
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...but I have seen a guy wearing a full-body mosquito net suit in the airport!
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Was the architect drunk?
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With SO many people living in close quarters in Asia, the burden on infrastructure like electrical lines is insane. It's not uncommon to see fires break out on the circuit boxes high up on the electrical lines. Fearing the fire will spread to nearby buildings and burn the whole block down, proactive citizens climb up and start throwing buckets of water on the fire (and the electrical box!) or start throwing water at it from their apartment windows. Insane!
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Pepperoni, pineapple, or scorpions pizza toppings?
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I have no idea but it's funny.
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There's nothing like a nice painting of a Chinese opium den to warm up your office waiting room.
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The electrical grid isn't the only thing that sucks in many parts of Asia, the Wi-Fi sucks, too. In fact, in many remote areas or on the islands (and especially in the Philippines where the telecommunications system is so corrupt), people take matters into their own hands by constructing these homemade Wi-Fi extenders for their phones and raising them high into the trees!
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Or sometimes you just have to get create your own Wi-FI signal!
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I have no idea. I really have no friggin idea.
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In Southeast Asia there is a common practice called "coining." When someone is sick or just not feeling well - no matter what the ailment - they take Tiger Balm and load it into the cap of the jar and scrape the shit out of their backs. They swear that it helps make them feel better. Tiger Balm does contain small amounts of aspirin, but it might be a lot less painful just to take some aspirin!
1 Comment
http://skywritingservice.com/blog/media-violence-essay link
7/26/2017 12:38:06 am

Wow, I could not even think that Asia is so much a fascinating country. I want to go there on vacation

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    Norm Schriever

    Norm Schriever is a best-selling author, expat, cultural mad scientist, and enemy of the comfort zone. He travels the globe, telling the stories of the people he finds, and hopes to make the world a little bit better place with his words.   

    Norm is a professional blogger, digital marketer for smart brands around the world,  and writes for the Huffington Post, Hotels.com, and others.

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