Have you ever seen an old war movie?  There's always a scene when a group of soldiers is pinned down by the enemy, surrounded by hostile gun fire and trying to escape against all odds.  There always comes a point when they make a break for it (and someone yells "Cover me!") and always one guy who leads the rally.  He charges the machine gun nest, throws himself on a grenade, or launches his body across the rolls of barbed wire so that his brothers in arms can make it through.

Writers - I want to be that guy for you, the one who throws himself onto the barbed wire so you may get on.

I hope this doesn't happen literally, of course, but I do want to help you go from Point A with your writing (wherever you are starting) to Point B (wherever you want to go with your writing, OTHER than having the sole goal of being on the Oprah Show.)  And no, I'm not selling you anything.  I swear, nothing at all, no hidden agenda - there's too much of that bullshit in the world already, I just honestly want to help you.

Why the hell do I want to do that?  Good question. 

When I was coming up as a writer and didn't know my ass from my elbow (and I'm not so far removed from that) it all seemed so overwhelming.  On a strict education budget (of 0$) I Googled every single article and blog I could find about writing.  There was some great info, but most of them were selling some form of book coaching or marketing plan.  I get it, we have to eat.  But when I tried to reach out to other authors, I was met with so much pretension and snobbery it sickened me.  

I mean, it's just ART, right?  Creation.  No matter how inexperienced or technically unaccomplished you are, or God forbid if you choose to self publish, if you have something to SAY, a human story to tell that SOMEONE will enjoy, then fuck all the ivory-tower attitude bullshit.  

Luckily, I had an amazing amount of help from the self-publishing firm I went through (I'm not even going to mention their name so you don't think I'm selling something, but hit me up if you want a recommendation.)  I won some and lost some, actually I lost a lot more than a won by about a 1,000 to 1 margin, but stumbled forward to a very humble modicum of acceptance for my work, and also a budding career as a pro blogger.

I now get emails and Facebook messages from people all the time saying they are considering writing a book, too.  Go for it, I say.  I support you 100%, and I'll even tell you everything I've learned (for free) so you may have a smoother learning curve than I did.  I will, essentially, throw myself onto the barbed wire for you, so that you may get on with it.

One caveat - if you want to be a writer or write a book, you have to write.  Not just talk about it, but do it.  Every day.  If you want to be a planner, not a writer, then I can't help you.  

So I've put together a small catalog of the blogs I've documented about writing.  Granted, I'm not the best writer you'll ever meet, and surely there are much smarter and more accomplished teachers out there, but you won't find someone who cares about OUR art form and encourages you to write your heart out more than me.  So dig in, and enjoy.

Norm  :-)

10 reasons why authors should love one-star reviews.

I'm more excited to write this morning than usual because I just received my first one-star review for South of Normal.  Yes, I do mean I'm excited in a good way, and no, "one-star," is not a typo.  Let me explain why, and offer how one-star reviews are actually nothing to stress about as an author.

I checked into my Amazon.com page this morning and saw a new review had been posted.  That’s usually a good thing, but this reader gave the book one star.    

The review was titled "horrible on EVERY level..."

10 TIPS TO WRITING BOLD, FUN, AND LOVABLE CHARACTERS...DOWN TO THEIR SHOELACES!

Of all the elements of a good story, none are as important as your characters. They are so essential to your story taking life that every single sentence in your story needs to do one of two things:

1) Advance the action, or

2) Develop the characters.

Confessions of a d-bag book marketer. (Best-seller lists explained.)

First off, let me correct that title.  It should read: Confessions of an Amazon.com Best-Selling d-bag book marketer.  That’s because, as of 8:14 am EST on April 26, 2013 AD, the year of our Lord, I joined the ranks of Amazon’s best selling authors.  

I know what you’re thinking: “Who gives a flying shiznitt?”  And I totally agree, but please grant me two seconds anyway, so I might be able to provide you insight into the highly suspect nature of best seller lists.

Ethical Considerations When Writing Memoir.

Writing a memoir can be a fun, exciting endeavor, and cathartic for the author to get their version of real life onto the page.  It also has the capacity to piss off a lot of people.  

I ran into a few complex ethical questions while writing my second book, South of Normal…

15 Tips to Rewrite Your Work to Greatness (part 1)

I am a firm believer that you write a book, but you rewrite your way to a good book.  Ernest Hemingway rewrote the last page ofFarewell to Arms 39 times.  When asked by a reporter what technical issue he was struggling with, he replied “Getting the words right.”  Well said, Big Papa.  

Personally, filling up the pages is not a problem - I can bang out about 5,000 words a day…but the problem is that only a few of those lines are actually readable!  So to craft my writing into clear, effective communication geared toward other human beings it takes me a tremendous amount of proofreading and editing. 

15 Tips to Rewrite Your Work to Greatness (part 2)

As a writer, it’s healthy to lose that image of yourself as a special prodigy who can summon other-worldly prose from the ether.  Instead, think of yourself a blacksmith.  You grab those words hot out of the fire and pin them to your work station, hammering mercilessly with all of the sweat and muscle you can muster, so you might just forge them into something useful.

Writing Your First Book?  3 Questions to Ask Before Your Get Started.

One of my biggest thrills is getting an email from an aspiring writer, who asks for advice on how to start their first book. Some of them are bright eyed and optimistic, some seasoned and cautious, but whether they’re penning a business book or the next great teen-zombie-thriller, there’s one question they all have in common:  

Where the hell do I begin?  Great question! 

The Basics of Story Structure.

All stories follow a three-part structure: the beginning, middle, and the end.  That may seem simple, but they each part requires different elements of the story at different times in order for it to work right.  When this is done well in a book or a movie you, the audience, don’t even notice.  But when something is out of place, it just feels wrong, and the whole story is uncomfortable or even objectionable.

11 Tips to Adapt Your Book Into a Blockbuster Screenplay.

Have you written a book and you want to adapt it to a screenplay?  There are a lot of commonalities to telling a good story, but other than that it's a completely different animal.  Let me walk you through some movie-making basics that aren't too technical.  

Hate Mail Can Be Fun!!!

Yesterday I was the lucky recipient of a comment on one of my blog posts, expressing mild displeasure with my new book, South of Normal.  And displeasure with my existence here on earth.  And any chance I might have of chillaxing in heaven one day.  

Granted, the comment was eloquent, passionate, and succinct, a good piece of writing in its own right.  It said:

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING BOOK.  BURN IN HELL YOU SONOFABITCH"

10,000 Hours.

Talent is a myth. I know, we all lionize the story of someone who comes out of nowhere and is “discovered” on natural ability alone.  That’s the plotline our media keeps feeding us, whether its on shows like American Idol, our cesspool of unreal reality shows, and even in old movies like the Natural.  But, more often than not, those overnight successes were years in the making.  So if it’s not God-given talent, what is the secret to success?  Hard work.

On Writing, My Beautiful Failure.

A few years ago, when I started down this path, I wanted to be a WRITER. It all seemed glamorous – living in the tropics and banging out a best selling novel in between rum drinking contests, bull fights, and answering fan mail from exotic female admirers.  

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Not even a little bit.  

Writing a memoir can be a fun, exciting endeavor, and cathartic for the author to get their version of real life onto the page.  It also has the capacity to piss off a lot of people.  

I ran into a few complex ethical questions while writing my second book, South of Normal, a nonfiction account of the year I lived down in Tamarindo, Costa Rica.  As I navigated the tangled jungle of ethics within that book, I decided to document and share a few points that might help other authors, as well:

Get their feedback – If characters will be recognizable and you actually care what they think, be respectful.  Send an email letting them know that you are publishing this project and offer to have a conversation with them if they have any issues or concerns.  Be open to listening to their point of view and making any non-essential changes  

Never compromise someone’s safety - As I wrote “South of Normal” I reached out for a friend, unfortunately a main character in the book who is locked up in a Third World prison.  He requested that I excluded certain details about his case for security reasons, and of course I complied.  

Chose your words carefully – Even changing one word can alter the whole context of a paragraph.  Showing actions or documenting a character’s dialogue straight from their mouth is a great way to show “the dirt” because the writer’s not telling you what to think, they make up an opinion for themselves.

Be fair with each character – Show the good and bad in your characters to balance them out.  Great people often have great flaws and people who do bad things are usually just misguided or hurt, not evil.  Making the bad guys likable and vice versa will also add depth and humanize your characters.

Don’t write angry – Ranting against someone and settling scores in your writing is a horrible thing to do.  But it’s also fun, and better than blowing up their car in real life, so I recommend doing it through the lens of humor, and show some sort of redemption or coming to peace with them afterwards.  Angry does not write well, and usually reflects more poorly on the writer than it does the subject. 

Hold yourself to the same standard – Bash yourself.  I mean really rip into your flaws, misdeeds, and moral struggles.  The readers will see themselves in you and love you for it.  Again, humor is a great way to expose your foibles.  

Want vs. Need - Make sure private and revealing details about characters are necessary – as a rule of thumb anything that’s written should either develop characters or move the story along with action.  

Change names – the easiest way to insulate yourself against the backlash from characters in your book is to alter their names, and even relevant details.  Once that is done you’ll sleep easier telling your truth without softening the blows. 

Get it in writing - Document Facebook messages, texts, and emails with information with the characters and situations in your book.  Having written documentation is your bulletproof vest against libel suits or flat out denials.  

The dark alley test – Ultimately who’s right and wrong becomes irrelevant at a certain point.  If you still have to work or interact with these people on a daily basis then ask yourself if what you’re writing is worth it if you happened to meet them in a dark alley.    

Sometimes real life is just more important than your art.  I have a dear friend in Tamarindo whose friendship I value above all else.  She is a pivotal character in the book and goes through a difficult, emotional journey, though her growth is one of the main victories by the end.  It was important for me to get her blessing, so I asked her to read certain parts of the manuscript before it went over to the publishers.  I was pleasantly surprised that she suggested only one small change, but other than that really liked it and thought I did a good job.  You never know how people will respond emotionally to their private lives being documented, so just ask.   

Some people will love their portrayals in South of Normal, some will be less than thrilled.  But I’m confident I found that small patch of terra firma where I treated everyone fairly but also didn’t set out to assassinate anyone’s character, while still staying true to the heart of the story.  Wish me luck, and I’ll see you in a dark alley soon.  

If you have any questions, suggestions, or writing experiences, I'd love to hear!  

Email me at [email protected] and follow me on Twitter @NormSchriever for updates.  

Ethics in Memoir

Writing a memoir can be a fun, exciting endeavor, and cathartic for the author to get their version of real life onto the page.  It also has the capacity to piss off a lot of people. 

I ran into a few complex ethical questions while writing my second book, South of Normal, a nonfiction account of the year I lived down in Tamarindo, Costa Rica.  As I navigated the tangled jungle of ethics within that book, I decided to document and share a few points that might help other authors, as well:

Get their feedback – If characters will be recognizable and you actually care what they think, be respectful.  Send an email letting them know that you are publishing this project and offer to have a conversation with them if they have any issues or concerns.  Be open to listening to their point of view and making any non-essential changes  

Never compromise someone’s safety - As I wrote “South of Normal” I reached out for a friend, unfortunately a main character in the book who is locked up in a Third World prison.  He requested that I excluded certain details about his case for security reasons, and of course I complied. 

Chose your words carefully – Even changing one word can alter the whole context of a paragraph.  Showing actions or documenting a character’s dialogue straight from their mouth is a great way to show “the dirt” because the writer’s not telling you what to think, they make up an opinion for themselves.

Be fair with each character – Show the good and bad in your characters to balance them out.  Great people often have great flaws and people who do bad things are usually just misguided or hurt, not evil.  Making the bad guys likable and vice versa will also add depth and humanize your characters.

Don’t write angry – Ranting against someone and settling scores in your writing is a horrible thing to do.  But it’s also fun, and better than blowing up their car in real life, so I recommend doing it through the lens of humor, and show some sort of redemption or coming to peace with them afterwards.  Angry does not write well, and usually reflects more poorly on the writer than it does the subject.

Hold yourself to the same standard – Bash yourself.  I mean really rip into your flaws, misdeeds, and moral struggles.  The readers will see themselves in you and love you for it.  Again, humor is a great way to expose your foibles. 

Want vs. Need - Make sure private and revealing details about characters are necessary – as a rule of thumb anything that’s written should either develop characters or move the story along with action. 

Change names – the easiest way to insulate yourself against the backlash from characters in your book is to alter their names, and even relevant details.  Once that is done you’ll sleep easier telling your truth without softening the blows.

Get it in writing - Document Facebook messages, texts, and emails with information with the characters and situations in your book.  Having written documentation is your bulletproof vest against libel suits or flat out denials.  

The dark alley test – Ultimately who’s right and wrong becomes irrelevant at a certain point.  If you still have to work or interact with these people on a daily basis then ask yourself if what you’re writing is worth it if you happened to meet them in a dark alley.    

Sometimes real life is just more important than your art.  I have a dear friend in Tamarindo whose friendship I value above all else.  She is a pivotal character in the book and goes through a difficult, emotional journey, though her growth is one of the main victories by the end.  It was important for me to get her blessing, so I asked her to read certain parts of the manuscript before it went over to the publishers.  I was pleasantly surprised that she suggested only one small change, but other than that really liked it and thought I did a good job.  You never know how people will respond emotionally to their private lives being documented, so just ask.   

Some people will love their portrayals in South of Normal, some will be less than thrilled.  But I’m confident I found that small patch of terra firma where I treated everyone fairly but also didn’t set out to assassinate anyone’s character, while still staying true to the heart of the story.  Wish me luck, and I’ll see you in a dark alley soon.  

-South of Normal is due out March 1.  Follow me on Twitter @NormSchriever for updates.