It read: "Indonesian villagers mistook sex toy for angel."
I looked around for an Onion byline or hidden cameras, but realizing this was a legitimate real life event, I couldn’t help but read on.
To summarize so you don’t have to strain your eyes, here’s what happened:
When a "beautiful doll” washed up on the shores of a remote Indonesian fishing village, the villagers thought they been “blessed by an angel” that fell from heaven.
So Pardin took “the partially-inflated doll” home to his village, where the others treated it with great reverence. The “angel” was given a fresh set of clothes from his mother, including new Muslim headscarf, and the proud family brought it with them everywhere, propping the sacred icon up in a chair and their boat.
The news spread like wildfire (just as when the image of Jesus is discovered on a piece of toast), and the legend of the fallen angel grew, such as a description that she was shedding real tears when found. Soon, the story reached the nearest police, who were worried about unrest or problems over the divine doll.
But when detectives made the trip to the village to investigate the doll, they immediately recognized it as a blow up sex doll.
Let me say that again so there's no confusion:: the angel was actually a blow up sex doll.
Apparently, the island village was so isolated that they never even had Internet so had no idea what a blow up sex doll was. Needless to say, they were left “deflated and unsatisfied” (my words) when the police confiscated the doll, saying they need to fend off
Best headline and news story ever? That one is hard to beat!